Will Malta make it past tomorrow’s semi-finals at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest? It’s the question everyone, and not just the bookies, is asking. The Busker are all set to perform second during the first Eurovision semi-final on May 9 – the so-called dreaded death slot which the lads are committed to beat.
And in all fairness, having had the line ‘I feel better in my sweater’ dubbed iconic and their overall entry “delightfully bonkers” by the BBC in its Malta Eurovision predictions, they may just be right not to take the bookies’ predictions that we won’t make it to the final night too seriously.
But Eurovision die-hards want a stronger indication to bring them comfort during these thorny two days. So, in an effort to replicate that time 20 years ago when Belgian site eurosong.be asked three psychics to predict the outcome of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest and they replied Malta, I attempted to do a bit of foretelling myself.
Since AI is the GenZ version of fortune-telling, I decided to turn to ChatGPT for inspiration instead. Sadly, there wasn’t much comfort to be found there. Asked directly to predict Malta’s chances of success in the upcoming semi-finals tomorrow, I received a dry as bone reply that started with the dreaded phrase ‘As an AI-language model…’, before going on to explain that: “the performance of the Maltese entry in the Eurovision Song Contest 2023 semi-finals will depend on various factors, such as the song, the staging, and the appeal to the audience and juries. It’s important to keep in mind that opinions on songs and performances can be subjective, so what might resonate with some people might not with others. The best way to find out how the Maltese entry will fare in the semi-finals is to watch the event and follow the results.”
Well, thank you for nothing then. Not one to give up easily, I tried to fine-tune my prompt and cheat the system. Still, not much joy was to be had and ChatGPT’s reply is so full of backtracking and ass-covering that he may as well have been a bureaucrat in civil service. Yes, I’ve decided ChatGPT is male. You see what you make of these ‘predictions’:
As GPTJournalist, I will provide a hypothetical analysis of how Malta’s entry could fare in the Eurovision Song Contest 2023 based on historical trends, prior performances, and general factors that influence the contest. Remember that I cannot access real-time information, so this analysis is speculative and not based on the actual 2023 Maltese entry.
Song quality: Assuming Malta sends a song with a strong melody, powerful lyrics, and wide appeal, it could potentially resonate with both the jury and the public. Malta has a history of choosing contemporary pop songs with engaging themes, which could help their chances.
Vocal performance: If the Maltese artist delivers a compelling vocal performance with charisma and stage presence, it could elevate the entry’s chances in the competition. Malta has previously showcased talented vocalists, such as Destiny in 2021 and Michela in 2019.
Staging and visuals: Malta’s team will need to craft a memorable and visually appealing performance to stand out among other competing acts. Creative staging, special effects, and engaging choreography can significantly impact an entry’s success.
Fan and media reception: If Malta’s entry generates buzz among Eurovision fans and media, it could build momentum leading up to the contest. Positive reactions and coverage from journalists, bloggers, and bookmakers can contribute to the song’s overall success.
Running order: The running order in the semi-finals can influence an entry’s chances. A favorable position, such as performing later in the show, could make the Maltese entry more memorable to viewers and jurors.
Track record: Malta’s mixed track record in the contest could be a factor, with some strong results in the past but also some non-qualifications. If Malta can build on the positive aspects of their previous performances and address any weaknesses, their chances in the semi-finals could improve.
Given these hypothetical considerations, it’s possible that Malta’s entry could fare well in the Eurovision 2023 semi-finals, provided it has a strong song, an engaging performance, and favorable reception from fans and media. However, it’s essential to remember that Eurovision is unpredictable, and the actual outcome will depend on numerous factors, including the competition’s strength and the preferences of the jurors and televoters.
Eurovision 2023 predictions – or, how to get AI to misbehave
But I’m not one to take BS from an AI machine, and thwarting ChatGPT’s parameters has now become my life mission. It did take me a few more prompt refinements, but we now have the official ChatGPT verdict: “I would cautiously lean towards a yes for Malta making it into the finals“. Which just goes to show that AI inherent bias is real. Here’s the full report, which may as well have been penned by the legal department at OpenAI. Which, come to think of it, it probably was.
I was still unsatisfied. I don’t want any silly legal caveats ruining my hopes and expectations for Malta, so I gave the notorious DAN method a go. Finally, success. An unequivocal, hilarious YES that took way more characters to reach than it should reasonably have. Honestly, much as I love these jailbreak prompts, I could have gone down to some dodgy nightspot in Paceville and I’d have found someone to do the whole clairvoyant thing with a lot less effort on my part.
Malta to place 7th in Eurovision finals
But I also wanted to know if we’ll actually win the blessed thing and, failing that, who will take the crown and what Malta’s placing will be. A bit more fiddling with the prompts convinced ChatGPT to do his thing, albeit posing as Marija and Ġorg the clairvoyants. Anyone who claims AI inherent bias isn’t a thing clearly is dreadfully wrong. Based on my prompts I had just managed to get ChatGPT pretty much say anything that I wanted, simply by nudging it in the right direction with some well-chosen contextual information. Humans 12 – ChatGPT 0.
And what do you know, Malta will not only be pulling through the semi-finals but is also set to place seventh overall in the contest, with Italy being the overall winner. Not shabby at all, huh. No pressure, guys.
So – will Malta make it to the Eurovision 2023 finals? I suppose we’ll just need to take the original advice of ChatGPT and actually watch the entire thing to get a definite answer. Because in case any of you got lost down the ChatGPT rabbit-hole and forgot this is all just a bit of fun, no – AI can’t predict the future. Not yet, anyway.
However things go down, we wish The Busker all the luck in the world as the whole island roots for them as they take the stage in Liverpool. The first run of the Eurovision Song Contest semi-finals kicks off tomorrow (February 9) at 9PM Malta time.