Here’s why many women are going ‘boysober’

It’s celibacy but with a twist: spurred by a comedian, the boysober trend sees women ditch the dating game completely. But why?

The dating game can be a soul-destroying pursuit, full of dates with strangers who have less to say than a plank of wood, and one-night stands that leave voids rather than fulfillment. This is the reason why many women across the globe have decided to go “boysober”.

Penned by Hope Woodard, a Brooklyn-based comedian who even has a show by the same name, the concept of “going boysober” sees women who are tired of dating and having one-night stands, take a break for a definite or indefinite period of time. 

In a way, it is similar to being celibate but, as Hope herself explained in some interviews, the word “celibate” has too many religious connotations. Moreover, it’s quite male centric for women, who, traditionally, were expected to be celibate only until they got married.

Boysober, on the other hand, is all about moving away from seeking any sort of male validation in romantic contexts: there’s no expectation to dress up, impress, or perform. There is also no toxic behaviour to deal with. Instead, these women just live for themselves, without going on dates or going to bed with anyone.

As Hope has also stated, the term “boysober” may be aimed at women, but it is something all genders can take part in, especially as dating can take its toll on anyone.

The trend seems to have really taken off with many people across the world. In fact, the hashtag #celibacyjourney has clocked over 40 million views on TikTok. Meanwhile, a recent Bumble survey showed 34% of its users were celibate.

At the end of the day, though, Hope is also adamant that this isn’t about giving up on love or dating in general. In fact, the whole point of this is to rewire the mind and soul, and to become better at recognising good and bad behaviour.

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