Going back to school after the long summer months is always a time of excitement. Children may be overly excited about new teachers, new subjects and meeting their friends. But starting a new school year can also be a stressful time for some children and young people.
Even for children who are usually confident, transitioning back to school can feel overwhelming and spark some anxiety about new routines, the new classroom, teachers, classmates or academic pressures.
Get the child excited
It pays to be positive and get the child excited. Talk about any worries they might have and seek help if necessary.
It is also a good idea to have a conversation with them about all the positive aspects at school such as their favourite subject and the school activities they love.
Before and after school care arrangements need to be explained to the child beforehand. In agreement with other parents, pair off children so they can walk to school or take the school bus together. This way the children will have more fun on their way to school and may share their worries and help each other to feel more comfortable going back to school.
Moving from primary to secondary school
Moving from primary school to secondary school is a major step. It’s a time of big changes in the child’s life. Many secondary schools work with primary schools to make the move easier. They organise orientation visits from the primary to secondary school towards the end of their year six.
Some secondary schools have a buddy system. They will partner your child with older students. The buddy system helps older children learn to take on responsibility. The younger children know they have a fellow student they can go to for help. Buddy systems help children make friends and create a sense of belonging within the school community.
Calming strategies and routine
Children can be taught calming strategies, such as playful breathing exercises and grounding techniques. Help them identify a ‘safe person’ to go to when they need any form of help.
Include a little note in the lunchbox to show the child that he is thought about even when he is away. Notes with positive self-talk will also help children feel capable. This will help anxious children feel connected and safe.
Children thrive on routine. Children need to know who will be taking them to school and picking them up at the end of the day. They can be taught to organise their clothes, shoes and socks, and also pack their school bag the night before.
Establish predictable routines including dinner, bath time and bedtime. In order to make it easier for the kids to be awake early in the morning, ideally one introduces the school sleep routine two weeks before school starts.
Predictability helps them feel safe, and safety gives them the freedom to learn and grow.
Screentime and play
Allow ample time for children to do their homework in a quiet place without distraction. Ration their screen time to not more than 30 minutes on schooldays and an hour, which might be rationed through the day, on weekends.
Children need to play. Play is important for children, it is the language through which they communicate their daily happenings and through which they work out their difficulties.
An extracurricular activity once a week is recommended to help children relate with peers outside school hours.
After holding it together all day at school, some children “crash” when they get home overwhelmed by sensory input, social pressure and emotional effort.
These after-school meltdowns are quite common. Masking at school takes huge emotional effort. What students truly need is connection, rest and supportive strategies to manage emotions and regain balance after a demanding day.
A lesson in trust
Dear parents, back to school is a lesson in trust, not just for the children, but also for us. Handing our children over to a classroom, a playground, without us nearby takes a lot of courage. We can’t control who sits next to them or whether they remember to raise their hand before speaking.
We cannot erase anxiety completely, but we can empower children with tools, structure and understanding, and send them off with love, encouragement and with the confidence that they can handle whatever comes their way. With the right support they can approach school with more confidence.
Mary Rose Baldacchino is a warranted counsellor and accredited play therapist.
If you’re interested in learning more about the counselling profession or would like additional information on mental health and self-care, visit www.macpmalta.org, www.facebook.com/ CounsellingMaltaMACP or e-mail info@macpmalta.org.
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