Are you giving off beige flag vibes?

Your dating profile may be telling the world you have the personality of a stewed snail.

Here’s another shade to pile on to the misery of online dating. We’ve all heard of red flags while dating but a new colour has just landed in the online dating world to serve an extra few ladles of misery to all romantic hopefuls.

Red flags are big no-no that ought to make you run a mile – controlling personalities, narcissism and a sneaky love for Andrew Tate… you get it. Beige flags, instead, will have you hiding your yawns and praying for the date to end, like, now. Why? Because your date is just so farkin’ boring and has the personality of a stewed snail.

Let’s be clear – much like zombieing and benching, these trends are not new, no matter what TikTok tries to make us believe. They’ve always been silently skulking in the background of any potential match up. But it’s only thanks to TikTok that they’ve become cemented in our collective consciousness.

Specifically, we have TikToker itscaito to thank for the beige flag branding. And if you’re on Bumble, Tinder, Grinder or whichever dating app you favour, there a a good chance you’re falling foul of the beige flag rules yourself.

So what’s a beige flag?

What qualifies as a beige flag? According to itscaito, proclaiming any of the below in your profile makes you boring AF and is a strong signal for potential matches to stay away.

  • Pronouncing an opinion on whether pineapple belongs on pizza
  • Thinking puppies will make up for your lack of personality
  • Using the word ‘bants’ anywhere on your profile
  • Displaying basic bitch tendencies such as a love for obvious sitcoms like Parks & Rec
  • Crypto talk
  • Any references to height
  • Claiming to be fluent in sarcasm

Mind you, she’s not wrong. I have an opinion about pineapple in pizza, I live for puppies, I have bing-watched Parks & Rec about five times…. But I wouldn’t make these the defining factors on my dating profile if I had one.

Why? Because no-one cares. Also, fluent in sarcasm? Yeah, there’s only room for one smart arse in my life thank you, and it’s not you. Crypto talk – I’d actually call that a red flag at this point and given my (strictly business) interactions with the crypto bros.

Then again I’ve always sucked at the dating game, so my shade probably means nothing. There’s the other side of the coin, of course. That cute puppy picture may just get you a date with someone super sweet. And I’m sure there’s a Parks & Rec fanclub with scores of eligible dates somewhere.

I started out Team Anti Beige, but the more I’m thinking about these beige flags the less I’m liking the judgement. If I ignore my natural tendency to go ‘euugh’ at anyone who mentions the C word (not that one, get your mind out of the gutter – the other one) what we’ve got here is literally another trend dominating all the dating threads without actually being of any use.

Because this is all we need to make the hookup culture even more brutal than it already is, branding someone boring just for liking puppies. Sorry, itscaito, you’ve been beiged 🤷🤷🤷

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