Imagine meeting your inner child. Imagine seeing that innocent, vulnerable part of yourself − the child who once dreamed freely and loved openly but also carries the scars of early wounds and unspoken fears. What would you tell them? How would you offer comfort and reassurance to that small, fragile child? Would you like to meet your inner child?
A child’s self-esteem blooms over time, nurtured by their relationships with the world and others. When children feel genuinely cared for, they start to believe they matter, that their voices are heard, and that their feelings are valued.
When their needs are met with love, they learn they can positively impact their world. This realisation helps them feel valued and worthy. It forms the foundation of their self-worth and confidence.
However, when children are treated hurtfully, they often turn the pain inwards, internalising the blame, convinced that: “It is my fault… something must be wrong with me.” These wounds become part of their inner dialogue. They linger and can be carried into adulthood, colouring their self-perception with shades of doubt and unworthiness.
Becoming a parent is one of the most humbling experiences. Yet, it can shine a harsh light on our inner child. It humbles us. It exposes the traumas we have buried for years. It exposes issues we did not know existed.
When we have kids, whatever we have been running from or avoiding will surface in the messiest ways. Through our children’s eyes, we see a reflection of our unresolved issues.
Addressing unresolved issues
Parenting challenges us deeply and profoundly; it forces us to question and decide: will we perpetuate the same cycles, or will we break free and build a new path of healing and understanding?
Breaking the cycle requires a lot of digging, soul-searching and redefining who we are. This process is not just about becoming better parents for our children. It is also about healing our own inner child.
“When we address our unresolved issues, we model resilience and self-compassion for our children”
When we address our unresolved issues, we model resilience and self-compassion for our children. By embracing our inner child, we teach our children that it is okay to acknowledge and heal from past hurts.
Our inner child is not just a memory but a living part of us. It carries the echoes of our earliest experiences, shaping our entire story while still seeing the world through the limited perspective of a young child. Though it may mature in language and reasoning, it often interprets the world with the innocence and vulnerability of that young age. We can heal old wounds and foster a more compassionate self by nurturing this inner child.
A delicate journey
This journey is delicate. Parenting our children while nurturing our inner child requires a careful balance. It means being present for our children, providing them with love and security and offering ourselves the same tenderness we may have missed.
Think back to your childhood. What qualities do you wish you still had? Is it the innocence, the sense of wonder, or the shameless joy? These beautiful traits are still within you, waiting to be rediscovered. Connecting with your inner child can help you reclaim these lost treasures.
Healing the inner child is about acknowledging its existence and offering it the love it needs. It is about being patient and kind with yourself, recognising that your fears and insecurities are fragments of past wounds that need tender care.
The inner child might be wounded but is also incredibly strong and resilient. This child sees the world through the eyes of that vulnerable younger self, but with your help, it can begin to see through the eyes of healing and hope.
Tell your inner child: “I am sorry you never learned how the words ‘I am proud of you’ were supposed to feel… I am sorry you felt alone… I am sorry you were never told you are enough. It was not your fault… Your feelings are valid… You are allowed to feel what you feel.”
“Healing the inner child is about acknowledging its existence and offering it the love it needs”
Sometimes, those who show the most love have never felt true love themselves. They care for others in the way they long to be loved, often neglecting their own needs in hopes of receiving love in return. However, real love does not come from trying; it flows naturally.
So, give yourself the love you never received – you deserve it more than anyone. Visualise holding and hugging your younger self, offering the comfort and safety you may have missed. Let your inner child know they are safe now because you are here to care for them.
In this sacred journey of healing, remember that you are not alone. Embrace your inner child with love and watch as your heart begins to mend. The road to healing is paved with gentle steps and tender moments. Let your inner child guide you towards wholeness. Within that small, innocent part of you lies the key to your deepest healing and boundless potential.
This healing journey requires courage, vulnerability and profound self-love. As you embrace this path, you will discover that the very things you feared most are the ones that lead to the most significant growth. Your inner child is waiting. It is longing for you to say, “I see you… I hear you… I know you… I am you.”
Jessica Azzopardi is a counselling trainee and member of MACP − the Malta Association for the Counselling Profession.
If you’re interested in learning more about the counselling profession or would like additional information on mental health and self-care, visit www.macpmalta.org, www.facebook.com/ CounsellingMaltaMACP or e-mail info@macpmalta.org.
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