What is be;n il-kmiem about and what inspired you to write it?
be;n il-kmiem carries the recurring theme of self-harm, but it is not just about that. More often than not, self-harm stems from an overwhelming accumulation of experiences, emotions, and inner turmoil. It is frequently a cry for help — an attempt to externalise internal pain.
The novel follows Nina, a seventeen-year-old navigating a challenging period in her life due to personal circumstances. However, not everything is bleak. That summer, Dolor enters her life, and their relationship begins to blossom. It is the kind of relationship that we do expect, but nonetheless it flourishes in a most beautiful way. At its heart, the story explores Nina’s relationships with her father, her mother, her younger sister, and also her not-so-present friends. The story is told in the first-person plural by her twin friends, who are no longer as close as they once were, offering a particular perspective on Nina’s life. Nina loves her bike, the sea, gems, and long-sleeved jumpers and it does not take long to realise why.
I would describe the novel as a story of extremes, oscillating between beauty and discomfort, action and passivity, emptiness and abundance. Years ago, I was struck by the growing number of reported cases of self-harm in Malta — reports that, to this day, have never truly ceased. I have been writing this story on and off for almost a decade. While certain elements have evolved since its inception, its core has remained the same. To me, it is a story that highlights the fragility and vulnerability of what it means to be human — and that, I believe, is a story that never grows old.
Why did you think it was important to bring this topic into the open for young adults?
I believe we should always remain open to discussion and critical thinking. At the very least, we should strive to be aware of what’s happening around us. Voicing our insecurities — both as individuals and as a society — not only helps us to see more clearly but also allows us to build a fuller picture of the realities that surround us and ultimately we’re part of. We come to realise we are not on our own. Discussing such delicate matters through literature provides an added layer of perspective. All of us either will experience, are experiencing, or have already passed through our teenage years. It is a universally shared experience — often a pivotal period that shapes us for the rest of our lives. I cannot compare my teenage years to those of teenagers today— I remember the Discman, the PC the size of an IKEA storage box, and everything wired — but despite the differences, certain experiences remain timeless. Adolescence is a formative stage, a time of becoming that can either make or break us. Literature that reflects this period is essential because it retells the stories we encounter every day in a new light. The unique way literature narrates the mundane can evoke a completely different feeling. Literature allows us to see the world differently and experience lives we might never have the chance to live. It can truly move us in different ways.
How much of the book comes from personal experience?
I have never personally experienced self-harm as described in the book, but I have read interviews, novels, and memoirs on the subject. This is not my own story but certainly there are aspects of my life that come into play. The book also explores hoarding—an experience I have witnessed firsthand through a close family member. Dolor as a character in the book is inspired by an old lady I vaguely remember from my childhood, a woman named Dolor who lived in a single room in the same street as my grandparents. I suppose she left a lasting impression on me, as I still hold fond, albeit hazy, memories of her. Although these are not my own experiences, they are ones I have observed closely. Beyond that, both self-harm and hoarding stem from emotions we all encounter: frustration, attachment, nostalgia, and the struggle to let go too.
How do you see this relating to Adolescence, youth issues and the importance of parents understanding the struggles their teenagers are facing?
I believe that young adult novels are not just for young adults, just as a series like Adolescence on Netflix is not just for teenagers. I think Adolescence made a powerful impact because it brought to light issues that had long been swept under the rug. I sometimes feel that for some, discussing these problems is seen as more of a hassle than actually confronting them. Adolescence tackled this delicate stage of life head-on, creating a narrative that unsettled us — some because they had never been aware of these issues, and others because they preferred not to acknowledge them.
be;n il-kmiem portrays the reality of loneliness and frustration experienced during the teenage years, a time when we may not yet be fully equipped to handle such emotions. But above all, this is not a pedagogical book. It is not a self-help guide. It is not a manual. It is a snapshot of a particular summer in the life of a teenager who, despite having her father and sister, still feels lonely and unexpectedly finds solace in the last person one might imagine.
What would you like you readers to take away from be;n il-kmiem?
I hope the story simply resonates with them. Even if it isn’t their own story, I hope they connect with the way the narrators tell it, a passing comment from Nina’s younger sister, or the deep blue sea woven into its folds. I hope the book feels like a warm hug — cliché as that may sound. In the end, not everything is rosy, but there just might be a glimmer of hope.
You must be thrilled to have been awarded the Novel for Youths Prize for be;n il-kmiem?
Awards are a tricky territory. On one hand, I feel happy and grateful for the recognition; on the other, I feel a deep sense of responsibility toward my readers. The Novel for Youths Prize organised by Aġenzija Żgħażagħ and the National Book Council is significant because it seeks to encourage new literature for young adults in Maltese. It was established at a time when Maltese books for this age group were scarce. While the situation has improved, young adult literature remains one of the least targeted categories. This is why I aimed be;n il-kmiem at an older segment of teenagers, specifically those aged 15 to 19, because this is still an age group less catered for. At the same time, I find this age group challenging and full of potential. It is sort of a microcosm for the rest of society, I feel.
My heartfelt thanks go to Merlin Publishers and the book’s designer, Pierre Portelli, who created a stunning cover that is much more than just a cover. It tells the story of the book on its own, sparking curiosity and inviting exploration.
You can buy be;n il-kmiem here.