Last month’s article explored why many young people feel lost at school, highlighting challenges such as academic pressure, social isolation, identity struggles, mental health issues, learning difficulties and life transitions. Despite appearing fine outwardly, students often mask their distress, leaving parents and educators unaware of their internal struggles.
This follow-up article presents practical strategies for recognising these hidden signs and supporting children through these challenges. By understanding the root causes and responding with empathy, structure and professional guidance when needed, adults can help young people feel more connected, confident and capable within the school environment.
1. Look for signs of distress or withdrawal
Changes in behaviour can be a signal that something is off. Watch out for signs such as:
• A sudden drop in grades or lack of interest in academics;
• Social withdrawal or spending more time alone;
• Mood changes, like increased irritability, sadness, or anxiety;
• Avoidance of school or reluctance to talk about their day.
Gently ask your child about their feelings without pressuring them to give specific answers. Parents can say “I have noticed you seem a bit down; is there something on your mind?”. By validating their feelings, children may find it easier to open up.
2. Create a safe, judgement-free space for conversations
Children and young people who feel they will not be judged or criticised are likelier to open up. Create a comfortable space for them to talk about their worries and listen actively. Use empathetic phrases like “that sounds tough” or “I am here to help you figure this out.” Avoid jumping straight to solutions, sometimes making them feel like their feelings are being dismissed.
3. Encourage breaks and healthy habits
Regular breaks, adequate sleep and physical activity are essential to maintaining a healthy state of mind. Encourage your child to take time away from schoolwork, connect with friends or engage in activities they enjoy. This can relieve stress and offer a sense of balance. Model these habits yourself when possible, showing them that taking breaks and prioritising self-care is okay.
4. Validate their efforts, not the outcomes
Acknowledge and celebrate small wins, even if they do not directly translate to higher grades or immediate improvements. Saying things like, “You must be really proud of the effort you are putting into this,” or “You are making progress, and that is what matters,” can build confidence and resilience. Focusing on effort instead of outcomes helps them feel valued for who they are, not just what they achieve.
5. Promote positive self-talk and resilience
Help your child recognise and challenge negative thoughts. For instance, if they often say, “I am just not smart enough,” encourage them to reframe it to something like “I may not get this right now, but I can keep trying.” Teaching them resilience and encouraging a growth mindset that they can improve through effort will empower them to tackle challenges more confidently.
6. Set healthy boundaries with technology
Technology can be a major source of distraction and stress. Help your child set limits on screen time, especially before bed, and suggest tech-free zones or times at home. Encourage open discussions about what they see on social media, helping them know that it is okay to take breaks and be critical of what they see online.
7. Collaborate with teachers and counsellors
Teachers and school counsellors can provide valuable insights into your child’s school life. Schedule meetings to discuss your child’s performance, social interactions and any concerns. Working with these professionals allows you to create a supportive network around your child. If needed, a counsellor can also help identify if there are underlying issues, such as learning difficulties or mental health concerns and suggest interventions.
8. Offer help with organisation and time management
Many students feel overwhelmed simply because they do not know how to manage their time. Sit down with your child to help them organise their workload. You can teach them to break tasks into smaller steps and prioritise them. Suggesting tools like planners or time-blocking apps can help them stay on track without overloading.
9. Encourage self-expression and creative outlets
Many young people find it easier to express their feelings through creative outlets like art, music, or journaling. Encourage your child to explore these forms of self-expression, which can provide an emotional release and a way to process their experiences. This can be particularly helpful for children who struggle to communicate verbally.
10. Remind them they are not alone
Children often feel like they are the only ones struggling. Remind them that it is okay to ask for help and that everyone faces challenges at some point. Share stories (if appropriate) about times you faced difficulties, which can help normalise their experience. Let them know that seeking help is a sign of strength and that they have a support system, including family, friends, teachers and counsellors.
Nicolette Camilleri is a counsellor and the treasurer of the Malta Association for the Counselling Profession (MACP).
If you’re interested in learning more about the counselling profession or would like additional information on mental health and self-care, visit www.macpmalta.org, www.facebook.com/ CounsellingMaltaMACP or e-mail info@macpmalta.org.
For more contributions by the MACP, click here. For more Child stories, follow this link.
