Coined by the founder of The League dating app, dating expert Amanda Bradford, dexting is a noun made up from the terms ‘dating’ and ‘texting’. The trend follows hot on the heels of other Gen Z dating narratives, like beige flags and benching. It involves when two people spend hours and hours texting each other, but never make plans to meet in real life.
Mobile phones and dating seem to go together like a horse and carriage these days, but the reality is that while the gadgets help us stay connected, they are also giving rise to some worrying dating realities… Including dexting.
There are a number of reasons why dexting may be appealing to some people, with the most obvious one being that they can filter themselves in the hopes of being more appealing and reducing the chances of being rejected.
Nevertheless, this is not the right way of going about a relationship, and it comes with numerous issues. Firstly, such a relationship means that neither party is getting any physical comfort from the partnership, which is important. Secondly, dexting often means that the people involved are not really getting to know each other, and you could be getting attached to an unrealistic version of the other person, or vice versa.
When asked about how those who are in a dexting relationship could improve their relationships, she suggested limiting screen time, limiting exchanges before meeting up with the person, and making sure the online exchanges are not shallow.
Of course, dexting is when things are taken to an extreme, and doesn’t apply to people who are in long-distance relationships, or who text all day but still meet up regularly. It also doesn’t mean that people should be meeting within 10 minutes of matching on Tinder. Instead, it becomes dexting when the long-term plan is always to text but never to meet.
