Maybe you’re not sure if it’s them or if it’s you, overthinking stuff? Spoiler alert – chances are it’s not you. But if you want to get a better handle on whether you’re facing problematic behaviour, here are some ways to accelarate the process.
Pick a fight
Not literally, but try to find out how they handle disagreements or stress. Trust is built gradually, so notice if their words align with their actions.
Ask questions
Be blunt about asking stuff about their background, including their past relationships, family, and friendships. How they discuss their past can provide insights into character. Pay attention to how they react to personal questions − evasive or inconsistent responses might be red flags.
Verify what they tell you
Without invading their privacy, try to cross-check the information they share with you. For example, if they mention a job or a place they lived, subtly confirm these details through social media or casual conversations. If you have mutual friends or acquaintances, they can often provide valuable insights into their reputation and history.
Pay attention to red flags
Be mindful of any controlling or possessive behaviour, as these can be early signs of deeper issues. A trustworthy person respects your independence and doesn’t try to isolate you from others. Additionally, trust your instincts − if something feels off, it’s important to acknowledge that feeling and consider it seriously.
Run a background check
A simple online search of their name might reveal public information like social media profiles, news articles, or other online presence that could give you more context about their background. If you feel it’s necessary, you can also use a professional service, although if your suspicions have reached that stage it may be wiser to walk away.
Talk to people you trust
Share your thoughts and any concerns with those you trust. They might offer an outside perspective that you haven’t considered, helping you to see things more clearly and assess the situation more objectively.
Finally, and I can’t stress this hard enough, if you feel you’re in any sort of danger, run and contact the authorities. Don’t hold back from raising a fuss.
