Until a few weeks ago I genuinely thought that being able to juggle multiple things at one go was a sort of mini superpower. But now I see it is both a gift and a curse.
Like many mothers, I have had to learn to juggle. This ‘juggling’ comes in many forms: mental and physical. As many parents would understand, apart from actually doing stuff at the same time – like loading the washing machine while reading out dictation words to my daughter, while the pasta sauce is simmering – there is the mental level: like mapping out the next day and lining up all that has to be done in a mental list, while stirring the sauce.
Yes. Things get done faster. But not for the sake of it. It is a matter of survival.
And it comes at a price.
This became clear to me some weeks ago: School was still on. It was the last two hours of the “mummy day”… When you just want to close off the day: make sure everyone is washed and fed, sort out anything pending and just – be.
“Then I stopped for a millisecond (during which ‘guilt’ and ‘anxiety’ had a feud in my mind) and thought: Why am I doing this to myself? Why can’t I just do one thing at a time? The benefits of being a calm mummy must outweigh the benefits of having dinner ready 10 minutes earlier.”
We were “running late” in terms of our usual school-night schedule. So I put the food in the oven while I went upstairs to get my daughter washed and changed for bed. I had done this many times before.
But this time I was on edge. I was feeling stressed and rushed “because the food is in the oven and it will burn”. I transmitted this feeling to my daughter with a repeated chorus of “ejja hanini, hurry up.”
That feeling of anxiety (because of potentially charred food) layered over a general feeling of tiredness. And we all know that being tired and anxious is the perfect recipe for irritability. The type that can awaken the mummy monster.
Then I stopped for a millisecond (during which ‘guilt’ and ‘anxiety’ had a feud in my mind) and thought: Why am I doing this to myself? Why can’t I just do one thing at a time? The benefits of being a calm mummy must outweigh the benefits of having dinner ready 10 minutes earlier.
The proper term is task-switching
I used to pride myself of being a multitasking pro. But – hold on – is it a good thing after all? So I decided to ask the experts. Because they know better and can help me make sense of all this.
Gestalt psychotherapist Lynn Sammut, who heads the Wellbeing Services at Richmond Foundation, said that juggling work deadlines, family needs, and personal goals can feel like a constant act of walking a tightrope.
She makes a very important point. This is not just about juggling tasks that have to be done. There are also those things we want to do – the personal goals that enrich us and give us purpose. Those are the ones that usually get kicked down the to-do lists into the elusive list of things to be done “one day”. And perhaps multitasking might be the only hope for them: piling tasks into the same minutes to free up other time “today”.
But does it have to be this way? We’re told to be masters of “multitasking,” but is this constant task-switching really the key to success?
Lynn explains that it is important to understand the difference between multitasking and task-switching.
“When talking about multitasking, imagine trying to write a report while simultaneously cooking dinner. You’re attempting to actively perform multiple tasks at once, dividing your attention and potentially sacrificing quality in both areas.
“Task-switching, on the other hand, involves rapidly shifting your focus between different tasks. Perhaps you check your email while waiting for a document to download. While not technically doing both at once, you’re constantly switching your mental gears,” she says.
“And then, going back to personal experience, there is another downside to all this. When your mind feels all over the place, then you are not in the moment. And this leads to precious moments washing over us as opposed to being soaked in.”
Lynn goes on to note that the pressure to juggle a million tasks – work deadlines, managing a household, caring for loved ones – can be overwhelming and contribute to anxiety.
I knew it!
“While multitasking might feel like you’re saving time by doing everything at once, the quality of each task often suffers. Imagine trying to write an email while simultaneously supervising your daughter – neither gets your full attention, and the stress builds.
“The reality is many of us engage in rapid task switching, quickly shifting focus between tasks like cooking dinner while checking on your daughter. While it might feel productive, constant context-switching can have downsides,” she says.
The benefits and pitfalls
The benefits of task-switching – which is what most of us do – do include increased efficiency. “Task-switching can be helpful in situations where you need to wait for something (like a document download) or when completing small, non-complex tasks. It can also boost cognitive flexibility. Rapidly shifting between tasks can keep your mind engaged and adaptable, potentially beneficial for brainstorming or problem-solving sessions,” she says.
But there are the pitfalls and these include loss of focus and productivity. Lynn notes that constant context-switching can make it difficult to maintain focus on a single task, leading to errors and a feeling of being scattered.
“ The mental strain of constantly switching gears can be draining, leading to stress and anxiety. Then there is cognitive overload: The brain can only handle so much information at once. Excessive task-switching can lead to a feeling of overload, hindering your ability to think clearly and creatively,” she says.
“It would be nice to spend some time talking to my daughter and playing with her when she is playing in the bath tub… as opposed to the chorus of: ejja, ejja.”
And then, going back to personal experience, there is another downside to all this. When your mind feels all over the place, then you are not in the moment. And this leads to precious moments washing over us as opposed to being soaked in.
Speaking about soaking, it would be nice to spend some time talking to my daughter and playing with her when she is playing in the bath tub – allowing her to enjoy the experience which I had the luxury of having whenever I wanted when I was a child… as opposed to the chorus of “ejja, ejja”.
So there are times when task-switching does come in handy. But there are times when things can wait.
This article was written by Claudia Calleja for Woman Unclouded, an exciting platform that seeks to uncloud women-related issues by sharing experiences and expertise. It’s packed with thoughts and truths, advice for our daughters and regular news round-ups. Enjoy all of Claudia’s advice and wisdom for women living in Malta (and beyond) today at www.womanunclouded.com.
