We all experience a wide range of positive and negative emotions, and we all have our own ways of dealing with them. For some, that could be seeking therapy, while for others it could be avoiding them altogether. One of the worst things we can do, however, is being unaware of our “emotional blindspots”.
These are basically ways of thinking, behaviours, or habits we tap into in order to avoid feeling certain emotions. These emotions are typically “negative” ones like rage, guilt, sadness, shame, or fear, which while not fun to experience, are as necessary as the “good” emotions. By avoiding these—by throwing ourselves into work, avoiding family or friends, or going into a self-destructive mode—we could actually be impacting our mental and physical health in ways we don’t realise.
One of the “simplest” ways to determine whether we have such blindspots is to try to understand what we’re feeling at any given point. If we often notice that we can’t quite pin down what emotion we’re experiencing, then that might mean we’re subconsciously stifling an emotion.
Speaking to Stylist, a women’s magazine that’s been around since 2009, life and leadership coach Heidi Hauer, shared five ways we can confront our blindspots, which include keeping a journal of our emotions, practising mindfulness, and identifying someone who deals well with emotions we’re scared of and asking them about their coping mechanisms.
Our favourite suggestion, however, is the 360 feedback, which is where we pick a handful of people we know well and trust to give us feedback on how you deal with certain emotions. While scary, this practice can be really eye-opening, and help us get a better understanding of ourselves.
Of course, these are just first steps, and you should always seek professional help if you are feeling low or misunderstood. It’s also good to keep in mind that not all coping mechanisms are negative, but that’s something for a therapist to explain.
